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Did you get the feeling during his acceptance speech on Tuesday night that he had a “holy shit, now I have to do this thing” moment minutes before stepping out on the stage?  He may have even yakked.

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Let me paint you  a picture.   It is November 7th, 2000.  I am in Switzerland in my apartment watching one of the only two English TV channels available, International CNN, the other was BBC News.  Technically it was November 8th as it was around 2 AM, but who’s splitting pubic hairs?  Switzerland (or at least the area I was in) is 6 hours ahead of the US Eastern time-zone so it was around 10PM Eastern in the US.  Some frilly music and a full screen graphic fade onto the screen after a commercial of a naked broad enticing young German’s to call their “party line” completes.  The graphic says something like “Gore will be the 43rd US President”.   Sigh.  Ok, I can go to sleep now, at least we didn’t elect that ass-bag Bush Jr.   I wake up in the morning, scratch my balls a little, flip on the TV and another graphic is fading up with even worse music.  This one says “Bush will be the 43rd US President”.  WTF?  I get to work and the Swiss-German guys are all shaking their heads and taking turns walking into the American shared office, laughing, and saying “you Americans are so fucking stupid to elect that idiot”.  So today is bittersweet.  Finally an end to the epically worst Presidential run our nation will ever see, and a beginning of what?  Dunno, neither of the guys that will probably win will be able to do anything but clean up shit for the next 4 years.  We should change the title from President to Janitor or Jis-mopper.  Anyway, I’ll be watching the tube again tonight, this time in Georgia, just waiting for the MSM to fuck it up again.

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This is a visiting post by Hungry Mother :

OK, bitches, time for the Friday Caption Contest, Halloween Style. Caption with Crank or comment. The prize is the usual stinking pile of nothing.

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So I’m with my 2 year old boy at a local indoor playground today.  There are a million of these types of places around with the inflatable bounce rooms and slides and shit.  I’m generally in a meh mood because I’m even at the place, when I start noticing the other clientelle.  I’ve been at this place at least a dozen times, and the other folks were normally in the same socio-demographic group that I’m a member of,  you know, entitled assholes.   Today was different.  The first clue that something was amiss was when I caught glimpse of a bright yellow mullet out of the corner of my eyes.  I had to give a double take, the dude was in his 50’s had a bleach blonde mullet, and get this.  Feathered Bangs!  They were so impressive that they deserved to be capitalized.  He even had a long handled comb in his back pocket.  Then I start noticing middle and high school aged crackers running all over the place and jumping around on the apparatus (and scaring the shit outta my boy).  Typically there are 1 to 7 year olds there, this was something else.  By this time my redneck senses were going ape-shit.  Shiny light would blind me from keychains attached to belt-loops, I saw not one but two neck tatoos, and a pod of rednecks changed the channel on the TV in the parents area from Football to NASCAR… WTF!!  For some context, I grew up among the rednecks in rural Pennsylvania, only we didn’t call them rednecks, in PA they were called hicks.  Same difference.  However, I can speak their language.  I’m struggling if I want my boy to be fluent in redneck or not.  I think it’s inevitable, so I should embrace it.  I already purchased him a rusty Chevey Blazer with ultra-patriotic bumper stickers.  So he’s got that going for him… which is nice.

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Photo caption time.  Click on the little blue button on the lower left side of the picture to bring up the Photocrank menu (or you can leave your caption in the comments if you are still into the old school method).  Have fun.  Peace.

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Or GIMP in my case.  Hat tip to Newscoma who tweeted on this today.  Evidently there was a photoshop contest for altering a McCain tongue out pic from one of the debates here.  I missed the contest, but I’m posting what would have been my entries.   Check out the full contest, there are some hilarious ones there.  Feel free to Crank the pics with Photocrank…

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Ok, get ready for diarrhea of the keyboard.

So I got back from the geek conference on Friday (not to worry, I didn’t wear my full length Chewbacca costume this time) and went right to a Halloween party this weekend… for the kids.  Let’s just say the highlight of the party for me was when I was getting my daughter out of her car seat when we arrived, my left calf started to really itch.  I pull her out of her car seat and am holding her in my arms when I look down at my now burning leg to see that I’m standing on a fucking Georgia fire-ant metropolis, and they are throwing a “fuck-you” party on my leg.  After dancing around and yelling like an asshole for a few minutes we went to the party.   I also got to miss Penn State beating the shit out of Michigan in the second half…. shit.  Later that night the girl has a fever and ends up with strep throat.  Awesome.

Sunday was a lazy day, we did jack shit in the morning, which was spectacular and then shopped for the week and carved the biggest fucking pumpkin ever that night.  This pumpkin is so big, I could shove both of my kids in there and light the candles…. not that I would ever do that, again.  Monday was back to the grind, dealing with hundreds of unread emails and voicemails, and general work shit.

Which leads to today.  Today is two weeks away from election day.  I’m struggling with the fact that I am going to make a protest vote (most likely a write-in for Ron Paul) that nobody will notice or care about.  But after much reflection, it is the only vote that I can make with a clear conscious, so what if it is “throwing away my vote”, I’m not going to vote for somebody who I think will do a bad job just because he is the lesser of two evils.  If enough people say enough is enough, maybe they can make a difference.  Doubtful, but one can always hope on a Tuesday morning.

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So I’m in Florida this week for a technical conference that is full of IT nerds.  A shitload of fucking nerds, geeks, and chips, dips, and dorks.  When I say a shitload, I mean a fucking shitload, like 6 or 7 thousand of em.  As I’m looking at this sea of awkward dudes and the occasional woman (btw, if you were a chick looking to get laid at this conference and couldn’t… then there’s no hope for ya) with disdain, it slowly comes to me.  I understand these people.  I kinda look like them.  I do the same thing for a living.  I actually like what I do for a living, and like talking about it.  I fuck around on my computer until late at night.  Wait for it.  Wait for it… Holy motherfucking christ on rye bread.  I’m a nerd.  Goddamn it.  Now I have to kick the shit outa myself.  Fuck.  What’s worse… I totally get why the pic below is funny.  FUCK!

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I’m actually referring to the Republicans not the economy in this instance, although it appears that desperate times for many of us on on the horizon.  The Republicans are indeed desperate.  In the past couple of weeks they have abandoned any quiet dirty campaigning (at least they pretended they were being quiet) and have resorted to Rove-like FUD attacks (FUD=Fear Uncertainty and Doubt).  They are starting to throw the kitchen sink at em.  Let’s recap:

• Barrack “Hussein”  Obama, lame attempt to make people think he is an Arab, terrorist, or Muslim by referring to him this way.  Campbell Brown calls this race-baiting.
• He’s a “pal” of the terrorists, more FUD trying to make a closer connection with Bill Ayers
• Drugs.  all of sudden past drug use becomes an issue (even though Obama openly wrote about it).  I love this one, fucking Republicans didn’t seem to mind Bush snorting some lines.
• Obama too risky.  This I also believe, but no more risky than McCain, that guy seems a) unstable as hell, and b) one extra long night of sleep away from being dead.

So why do the Republicans resort to these negative lowest common denominator attacks?  Because it works.  How else do you think that Bush was elected not once but twice?  It is all about the FUD.

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