There is something seriously wrong with me. I can’t stop laughing when I see this scene (click below). The first time I saw it, I literally couldn’t breathe and had tears streaming down my face like a little bitch. I still giggle like a school boy when I see it. I need professional help.

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I saw a post over at Anonymous Idiot yesterday about The Wire and an infamous scene where the only dialog was with the word fuck (or slight variation, as in motherfucker or fuck me). I had to post the video of the scene, check it out below. The setup is a couple of salty cops recreating a crime scene in a vacant apartment some period of time after the crime (weeks, months?). The challenge, no dialog but the big F…. The Wire passed with flying colors, it kinda sounds like me putting together a bookshelf or any kids shit in my house.

Later bitches…

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The title of this post is in regards to the “I’m feeling lucky” button (IFL) on Google, not to the fact that I think there is a high probability that I will get laid tonight… but shit, ya never know. Anyway, I haven’t used that particular button in a while, mostly because it has little value, especially after stumble came out, and I like to see my options before jumping in. Lately, the searches I toss into IFL end up on urban dictionary (like this) or wikipedia… actually, that probably says a lot about me.

However, there were a couple of searches that ended up “interesting” like:

fucking weird (yikes! my eyes my eyes!)

mile high donkey kick (this just wasn’t what I was expecting)

asshole prick bush (you have to really pay attention to this one)

The “asshole prick bush” one was good enough that I embedded the cocksmoker below for your enjoyment… later bitches.

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Or at least heading in that direction. I’m referring of course to our civilization. The answer to the question of “What caused the fall of Rome” has no real answer, however it had some dominant factors like population in decline, incompetent and corrupt political system, and economic crisis… we are fitting the bill fairly nicely. For me it is those factors plus the unbelievable shit that we as a population get into. For example, check out this disturbing motherfucking shit out:

I’m speechless and sick to my stomach.

Then there is shit like this:

What the fuck is wrong with these people…

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Waaaaay back in 1999 or 2000, which is an eternity in interwebz years, I came across this hilarious online series that took old kung-fu movies and re-dubbed them with hip-hop theme music and rap star voice-overs. The result, enough laughs to fill your pants full of last nights moo-goo-gai-pan. I’ve been loosely looking for it lately and finally found it using the very intuitive google search “old kung-fu movies dubbed over with rap star voice overs and hip hop” buried at the bottom of the third page. The title of the series, Kung Faux. They made it into a TV series at one point in 2003, but I’ve only ever seen it online on heavy.com or dubtitled.com. Somebody uploaded the first episode “The ill-master” to youtube in three parts, I’ve embedded the first part below, links to the other two parts of the episode are listed below the embedded player. Enjoy bitches.

Part 2

Part 3

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I saw a headline on CNN.com today that reminded me of a Daily Show segment called “The Question Mark” which originally aired in the Fall of 2006. First-off, this segment, as are many of the Daily Show segments, was genius, it covers the use of a question mark by Fox News, CNN, and other main-stream media shriekers of bullshit as a ridiculous ploy to raise alarm without any consequences of being unethical. Today’s headline on the CNN.com front page was “Is your money safe in the bank?”, click here for full article. Are these assholes so desperate for ratings that they would try to drum up a basic fear from the depression era? In the article CNN.com reports:

The FDIC maintains that not one depositor has lost a single cent of insured funds since 1934 as a result of a bank failure

Experts say you shouldn’t panic.

Experts may say don’t panic, but CNN says “RUN FOR THE HILLS, HIDE YOUR MONEY IN THE MATTRESS, AND RAPE YOUR CATS…. THE BANKS ARE FAILING!!!”. What a bunch of asshole, fuck-nut, douchebags. Please check out the segment below, you won’t be disappointed.

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While I’m in full-on Bush bashing mode, check out the video below from the Chapelle Show.  This is one of my favorite bits from the show, and even though it is several years old, it is pure gold.  Have fun watching bitches!

What? Huh? Oil? Who said something about oil bitch, are you cookin?

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I mentioned this in the comments of yesterday’s post about Iran, I was able to track down a youtube clip of Bushy-poo making his infamous “Fool me Once” blunder.  I can see Bush singing like Homer in the shower:

I am so smart… S.M.R.T, I am so smart

And Homer’s little song and dance… (sorry for the shitty video, it’s the only one I could find).

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Here’s the scene; you are in a pub smashed out of your melon, you retire to the bathroom to take a piss, you stumble up to the mirror, and realize that you are one good looking sumbitch (even though your eyes are mostly pasted shut, your hair is fucked up, you have food on your face and shirt, you are drooling a little, and there is piss dribble on the front of your pants).  In this situation, you have your beer goggles on.  Now extrapolate that out to the bar where you are now willing to hook up with anything that moves including a hole in the leather bar stool. 

It turns out that the good folks at Manchester University in the UK came up with a formula in 2005 that describes the beer goggle effect as a result of several factors (click here for full article):

Researchers at Manchester University say while beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder, the amount of alcohol consumed is not the only factor.

Additional factors include the level of light in the pub or club, the drinker’s own eyesight and the room’s smokiness.

The distance between two people is also a factor.

As a wise, ok not so much wise but typically drunk and funny, guy I knew in college used to say:

Beauty is but a light-switch away…

I leave you with an example from our good friends at Broken Lizard, it is a scene from their latest movie Beerfest, enjoy:

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The first TD poll results are in, Thundarr the Barbarian was the most popular cartoon from your childhood by a landslide, winning by a count of 2 to 1 to 1 to 1 to 1.  Full disclosure, I voted for my old friend Thundarr.  I blame apathy for the parity in the results, that and the skew towards cartoons from MY childhood memory and not necessarily yours.  If you’ve never heard of Thundarr the Barbarian, then I blame you for it’s low ratings, subsequent cancelling, and therefore the ruining of my Saturday mornings, thanks a lot tools.  Check out the clip below for the standard intro to Thundarr, how can you not like this gem?  A close second for me was Superfriends followed by Bugs.  I’ve added a Family Guy clip of the Smurfs that cracks me up as well.

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