Archive for the 'sports' Category

Apr 03 2008

Baseball Sucks

Published by billymac under insane, personal, sports, stuff

Don’t worry, I’m not turning into a sports geek blog, but I really hate this time of year in terms of sports and I have to get this off of my chest.  For me, the time between March Madness and the kick-off of football season is a dead zone for sports.  Baseball fucking sucks, the NBA play-offs are boring as hell, and does hockey still have a league?

As far as baseball goes, the players are pussies, they won’t play in the rain or snow (or if the ump farts too loud), and they are overpaid prima-donnas.  The league minimum salary is $390,000 in 2008 and the average salary from 2007 was  $2.8 million, seriously let that sink in and remember that 2.8 is an AVERAGE.  Compare that salary to yours and think about what they offer in return for such huge salary’s… entertainment, often times shitty entertainment.  Anyway, 2.8 mil seems a bit low, isn’t it time for them to strike again?.

The season lasts 17 and half years with a 10 year play-off, and it’s like taking a cheese grater to your scrote to watch it on TV.  Granted, it is kinda fun to go to the ballpark every once and a while, but let’s face it, it is normally just an excuse to get wasted.  I think the reason hard-core baseball fans are such fucking stats dweebs is because the game is so mind-numbingly dull that they have to fill in the time with worthless trivia.

Jebus… I can’t wait until football season.

Chewie on the mound...

RMR1

15 responses so far

Apr 01 2008

Got Aggression?

Published by billymac under cool, personal, rugby, sports, stuff

In a former life I used to play rugby, actually, in a former life I used to LOVE rugby. I played for a little over 8 years starting in college and finishing with a couple of mens league teams. There are a number of reasons why rugby rules as a sport, it is truly a team sport, you can have 5 superstars on a team and still suck if the rest are mediocre, and the camaraderie among teammates and opponents is head and shoulders above other team sports. I miss all of the social aspects of the game and competition (I’m pretty much the most competitive motherfucker I know) but lately I really really really really miss the hits. I miss taking out all of the pent up aggression of the week from work or school out on the sad silly son-of-a-bitch that was my opposite. It turns out, that full-contact sports are therapeutic, I tried to take it out on the cat as a substitute, but it’s just not the same. And after you replace 19 cats in a month, the animal shelter gets suspicious. Anyway, I’ll leave you with some of the reasons why I miss rugby, check out these vids, the first is a good compilation of hits (full disclosure for those of you that don’t know the rules, there are a lot of illegal hits in this video), the second is of the haka… enjoy bitches…




9 responses so far

Feb 18 2008

Drugs on the job

Published by billymac under douche, sarcasm, sports, stuff

I read an article today about how Andy Pettitte (a baseball player for those of you who don’t give a shit about baseball or sports) was really sorry that he took HGH and then lied about how many times he took it.  I’m not going to wax philosophically about whether or not congress should be involved in sports drug cases (they shouldn’t) but I laugh every time I read or see these ding-dong’s on TV crying and apologizing with typically no other real consequences.  The worst may be a social shunning for a period of time, but shit, Bonds is still fucking around isn’t he.  Try this exercise on for size, it always cracks me up.  Take any of these cases (either performance enhancing or recreational drugs) and spin the perspective of an average Joe at your place of work.  In the case of Pettitte, he called a press conference in a tent, behind third base for Christ sakes, with his manager AND teammates Jeter, Rivera, and Posada there to support him.  They all hugged and cried and felt really good about themselves after the revelation (click here for full article).

Now feature this.  This guy you know that works the 2nd shift at your plant gets busted smoking weed, let’s call him Joey Bologna.  He calls a press conference behind line #4 with a couple of his shift buddies, his supervisor, and his union rep.  They all cry and apologize to each other and then Joey reads from a prepared statement about how he smoked weed only once or twice because he had a nagging knee injury.  Then he gets to go back to work.  That’s what really happens right?  In your dreams fuck-face.   Joey gets the shit-can and he and his buddies retire to Joey’s rusted-out van to burn one and bitch about how shitty their jobs are.  And then Joey can’t find another job because the assholes that just fired him won’t give a stoner a reference.

These prima-donna athletes fucking piss me off…

Pettitte

7 responses so far

Dec 09 2007

A Rugby Tradition

Published by billymac under cool, rugby, sports, stuff

Sadcox over at Hear It From Us recently posted on old Rugby T-Shirt ideas. This post sparked off some memories of rugby and the culture that surrounded it. For those of us who have played rugby in college (or previously) and then in the Men’s/Women’s leagues afterwards, rugby is often a dominant part of your day-to-day life. In fact, personally, rugby was a defining characteristic of mine while I was playing along with student, asshole, and guy-who-was-trying-to-figure-out-what-to-do-with-his-life. Now my defining characteristics are husband, father, provider, asshole, and guy-who-is-trying-to-figure-out-what-to-do-with-his-life.

Short of a post describing the intricate details of how to play rugby, let’s start with how you score (this will be important in a minute so bear with me). In rugby there are basically two ways to score, 1) Score a try. Scoring a try is analogous to scoring a touchdown in American Football, the biggest difference is in Rugby, the player actually has to place the ball on the ground while the ball is in control, this is worth 5 points. The second way to score, kick the ball between the goal-posts, much like a field goal in American Football, this is worth 3 points unless it is a conversion kick after a try and then it is worth 2 points.

Why is this important you ask? Well in rugby, it is a tradition that you perform a “zulu” after you score your first try. What’s a zulu? Do you mean this?

Zulu Warrior

Well, not exactly. A zulu or “zulu warrior” is a little dance or act that you must perform at the post game drink-up (another rugby tradition), while naked. Typically, the team will starting chanting “zulu” or “hey, zulu warrior” while you disrobe and then run around like a maniac while they toss beer on you. Fun tradition right? I’ve seen countless variations on the zulu over the years, from a guy immediately taking off his clothes on the pitch (field) after the score to guys running naked in inner city Philly to order a big mac and fries from a very surprised, and pissed-off, McDonald’s employee (the best quote from this was “the sign doesn’t say anything about wearing pants”).

My personal zulu came after I scored a try in my rookie season against a small liberal arts college in Eastern Pennsylvania. I’m not naming the college to spare them embarrassment, they are a college full of pussies who were too scared to even party with us after the match (the only time I can remember this happening in rugby). At any rate, I was playing in the second side match and was able to block a kick with my right hand, catch the ball when it came down, and score the try. The only problem was when I dove to place the ball on the ground, I dove directly into the knee of an opposing player. The knee was in my eye, and the fucker blew up like Rocky. At any rate, because of the lack of a party after the match, I was spared my zulu until later that month. The only problem here was my zulu occurred at the next big rugby event, our date party.

I was hoping the guys forgot that I owed a zulu, but alas, they did not. The good news, there were a good 7 or 8 other savages already naked at the party (another common tradition, at least with the guys at my university) running around. My zulu was highlighted by my date following me around, slapping me on the ass, and yelling “woooo-whooo!!!”. Ahhh, memories.

Surprise

6 responses so far

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