New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson declared his allegiance to Obama on Friday, and he made the following statement on Sunday (click here for full article):

I am very loyal to the Clintons. I served under President Clinton. But I served well. And I served the country well. And he gave me that opportunity,” Richardson told “Fox News Sunday.”

“But you know … it shouldn’t just be Bush, Clinton, Bush, Clinton,” he said.

I’m no expert, but maybe Richardson should have said “I HAD been loyal to Clinton’s”, you see Merriam-Webster defines loyal as:

1: unswerving in allegiance: as a: faithful in allegiance to one’s lawful sovereign or government b: faithful to a private person to whom fidelity is due c: faithful to a cause, ideal, custom, institution, or product

2: showing loyalty

At any rate, I really don’t give a fuck about Richardson’s opinion, and neither did most Democrats judging by his primary numbers. However, show some backbone dude. All of this minutia bullshit and bickering has fragmented your party and you guys are just fighting over the most inane details and scraps of power and influence that I’ve decided to label the entire party with the “pussy” moniker.

AND THEN come the ridiculous comments from the campaigns like Carville saying Richardson is like Judas, and Obama’s campaign likened Bill Clinton to McCarthyism when they took a quote out of context and claimed Clinton was questioning his patriotism. I don’t know about you, but I don’t respect whiny pussies, and I don’t know how I could vote for somebody from the PP (Pussy Party) at this point. On the other hand, I don’t exactly see eye-to-eye with crazy horse McCain either. I guess we’re just fucked for another 4 years, the good news is we’re getting used to it…. way to go Washington.

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I’m a little more than half way through the book Blackwater: The Rise of the World’s Most Powerful Mercenary Army, and I’ve come to an interesting hypothesis.  The privatization of the US Armed Services is taking free market economics (i.e., laissez-faire) too far.  In general I’m actually in favor of more privatization, especially on the services side of government like the DMV, Lottery, Toll Roads, tax, schools, etc if the proper oversight, controls and requirements are in place.  But the military?  I’m not so sure about that.  Do we want a private army (or several) fully armed with free reign to kill that sits outside of both our military and civilian justice systems?  I recommend that you read this book, it is guaranteed to piss you off no matter where you lie on the political spectrum (full disclosure, it is a left leaning book, but well cited and written).  This book will give you an insider view on how corrupt and arrogant our current administration is, and how a few people have the power to mold and create policy to profit their buddies and themselves.

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According to a super-scientific poll of Total Diatribe readers, 38% of you feel that our great friend Huckabee becoming President is worse than going ass to mouth or being anally raped in prison.  No big surprise here.  Huckabee is so self-righteous, it has to be an act.  In fact, I propose that Huckabee is evil and quite possibly the spawn of satan or the anti-christ.  On that note, I never fully understood the concept of the anti-christ, so would life cease to exist like on Star Trek if JC and the anti-christ shook hands?  Anyway, I guess the point is, I think Huckabee is a ginormous ass-bag and it appears that many TD readers would rather be stuck in the ass than have him as President.

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Episode 3:  Back to the Quo

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Episode 2:  Hiding the Pickle

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Episode 1: On the Campaign Trail…

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Mukasey Mukasey Mukasey….. The Attorney General Michael Mukasey once again tap-danced around the issue if waterboarding was illegal and technically torture as he was grilled on the subject in front of the Senate yesterday.  I know this is lame, but I’m going to quote myself from a post I did on this subject in October when this human waste of skin was going through the nomination/confirmation process.  I said:

 I have an idea, let’s line up Bushy-poo, Cheney, Rice, Mr. Mukasey and all of the other neo-con war-birds who are for these methods and have them undergo “alternative” questioning.  After they are interrogated, we’ll poll them to see if they felt they were tortured.

As a coincidence, the Senate Democrats asked a question of Mukasey during the hearing and received this answer (Click here for full ABCnews.com article):

“Would waterboarding be torture if it was done to you?”

“I would feel that it was,” Mukasey answered.

It all really boils down to this, if Mukasey declares officially that waterboarding is torture and illegal, the CIA will be liable for litigation for performing this in the past, this is a cover up and CYA move by the assholes in charge of this country.  The problem is there is a loose definition of what torture is, it mostly includes what you can’t do (maim, rape, burn, etc. etc.).  An exclusionary list of things will never work effectively as the CIA or other clandestine organizations will always be able to come up with creative ideas of torture that aren’t technically torture by the legal definitions.

I have another idea, let’s strap Mukasey down to a board, I will have prepared for a month by working out and sitting in a sauna daily, AND will not shower for the month.  I will then dip my balls on his face (classic T-bag maneuver), he can then tell me if that is torture or not as it technically isn’t prohibited.

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Yesterday, good ole vagina-neck Thompson dropped out of the race for the GOP Presidential candidacy (click here for full article). The Total Diatribe crack (smoking) action news-team originally broke the story of Thompson’s vaginal neck and how it would effect his voting draw in November. It now appears that Total Diatribe’s ability to positively correlate Thompson’s conflicting messages of an increase in the war on terror and the military industrial complex (MIC) with tax reform (cuts) and government spending reforms to his vagina-neck have created too much pressure for Thompson to continue in the race. The first signs of trouble were seen after his lackluster campaign placed third (basically a tie for third w/ McCain) in the Iowa caucuses behind Huckabee and Romney. Ever since then there have been sightings of a suspicious substance near his va-jay-jay neck. My first thought was, “holy shit, Huckabee must have banged him in his vagina neck! Sick!”, but upon closer inspection by the TD action news-team, it appears that Thompson’s neck has contracted a yeast infection and he has been treating it with over-the-counter ointment. I just knew the pressure would be too much for him, good luck to you Thompson, and please don’t allow Huckabee to get close to your neck.

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In late December I called Huckabee a scary dude, now I’m leaning towards shocking and terrifying. Hungry Mother filled me in on Huckabee’s inflammatory comments regarding changing the constitution (click here for youtube clip). Here was what Huckabee had to say (click here for full article):

“[Some of my opponents] do not want to change the Constitution, but I believe it’s a lot easier to change the constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God, and that’s what we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards

Steve over at the Axis recently had these words to say about the matter:

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you with your Republican winner of the Iowa caucus, Mr. Osama Bin Laden. Ooops, did I say that? It appears that I got my fundamentalist extremists confused there for a minute. I believe that was actually Mike Huckabee who won in Iowa.

I couldn’t agree with Steve more, we talk about State run terrorism and Islamic Extremists, but look no further than our own backyard, Bush has always flirted with the Religious Right and our extremist Evangelical Christians for votes, cash, and sex (I’m just guessing about the sex), but Huckabee has drunk the Kool-Aid.

However. The crack Total Diatribe action propaganda news-team has uncovered that Huckabee is only pretending to be a Christian conservative, yeah sure he was a former Baptist Minister, but we have uncovered his true mentor and spiritual guide. Who could this be you ask? None other than that guy from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, I know it is shocking, but as far as religious extremists go, one is no better than the other. Please see the obviously real, and not doctored in any way, visual evidence laid out below for proof. God (pun intended) have mercy on our souls if this guy is elected.

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Did I say superfight? I meant super-lame. The racially themed squabble between the Democratic front-runners smacked of an avalanche of bullshit. I mean we were clobbered by it from all sides. Obama and his camp accused Clinton and her crew of belittling Martin Luther King Jr’s civil rights work and Clinton’s cronies shot back with the drug talk. This is why I have such a huge problem with Democrats, they are cry-baby whiners. “Oh stop, look at what they’re doing, that’s not fair!!” These guys (and gal) should just shut the fuck up and stick to the real issues. If they spent half of their energy on real platform items instead of meaningless bickering and partisan BS, they may actually get someplace. I knew that the race card would be played eventually, I’m just waiting for Clinton to cry to get the women vote…. What? Oh she already did that? Well shit.  I’m extremely disappointed in all of the Democratic candidates and their recent performance in Congress, they are just whiners… my advice, quit complaining and do something about it (it being anything other than their self-interests).

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