Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. I didn’t realize that it was ash Wednesday until I saw a couple of dudes and dudettes wearing their ash crosses on their foreheads with pride after work. I’m a reformedex-catholic and I’ve almost forgotten the significance of some of these celebrations/rites/sacraments/sacramentals. The two most important things to remember about ash Wednesday are: 1) Carnival/Mardi Gras is over (i.e., it is the beginning of lent), and 2) You are going to die. Like I said, what a bummer. Not only does it announce the lent period has begun, where there isn’t supposed to be any flashing tits, heavy drinking, meat eating, or buggering animals, but it is supposed to remind you that you are going to end up like the ashes pasted on your skull. Now as an ex-catholic, I’m allowed to view flashed tits (or flash my own), drink heavily, and then eat a great big steak after I corn-hole the cow. God bless America…
Happy New Year! Almost. Today is New Year’s Eve, a time of reflection of the past year (both positive and negative), and of planning for change with the new year and the creation of your new year’s resolutions. I will post on my resolutions tomorrow. But more importantly, New Year’s Eve is a time to get fucked up. This is the biggest party night of the year and oft times the most anticipated. Just be careful out there kids and don’t end up like the folks below. Have a safe and happy New Year and try not to get thrown in the pokey tonight.
Although I disagree with most modern religious dogma, particularly of those that are highly organized, I believe in family values and family traditions. I believe in much of what many religions preach at a basic moral level, however all of the other baggage that comes with sectarian belief is nonsense and has caused thousands of years of suffering (this is a post unto itself, but I digress). Because of this, I celebrate Christmas with my family from a non-affiliated perspective which includes family, loved ones, and taking note of what family togetherness means to us (mostly some good-natured ribbing). I wish you and yours a Merry Christmas no matter what your religious beliefs or reasons for celebrating are. Merry Christmas!
This time of year we are bombarded with Christmas themes everywhere we go, to be honest with you it is fairly nauseating to me, especially when fucking Wal-Mart rolls out the Christmas shit in late July. Anyway, just to prove that I’m not all hum-bug, I’ve compiled a short list of my favorite Christmas movies and shows.
TD’s Top 5 Christmas Movies:
A Christmas Story. If you don’t like this movie you should leave this site now. Seriously, don’t come back.
Christmas Vacation. Nothing puts me in the Christmas spirit more than watching Clark wig out and cousin Eddie empty his shitter in the storm drain.
The Nightmare Before Christmas. Okay, you got me. I’m into some wierd shit sometimes, what can ya do?
Scrooged. I like this adaptation of A Christmas Carol.
Gremlins. It’s a bit of stretch as it is set around Christmas but not about Christmas, but sue me, it’s my fucking show here people. Another couple of good ones set around Christmas but not about Christmas are Die Hard and Lethal Weapon.
What’s NOT on this list? It’s a Wonderful Life, sorry it’s suckalicious.
TD’s Top 5 Christmas TV Shows:
How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Bar-none, the best Christmas show from my childhood.
A Charlie Brown Christmas. Charlie Brown is a loser, yet we still love him.
South Park Pilot, Santa vs. Jesus. I was totally rooting for Santa on this one, and what a great concept for a story.
Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. Where all Rudolph wanted to do was get laid, and Santa was an asshole. Good Times.
Frosty the Snowman. Lame, but another choice from my childhood.
In honor of Black Friday, I have a selection of my favorite commercials to show you. My father, I’m sure, is unbelievably appalled that I would show hated commercials on my site. I too hate commercials, but some are funny enough (I will probably still not buy their products, but whatever). My philosophy on commercials is counter to what the ad-agency assholes are going for, if a commercial is annoying or really bad, I will probably go out of my way not to buy their products.
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The Swear Jar: I got this one from my bro-in-law, this is high-lar-ious, motherfuckers.
Blind-date: We’ve got chemistry…
Office Linebacker: I wish I had one of these at my office.
ESPN Commercials: Most are hilarious, this is just one example…
The geniuses over at Jones Soda have come up with a Christmas pack of soda that includes flavors sugar-plum, egg-nog, Christmas tree, and yep, Christmas ham. I would love to be a fly on the wall at the brain-storming session that came up with those gems. I can hear the conversation now:
Marketing A-hole:Â Let’s come up with something festive for the holidays
Another marketing A-hole:Â Yeah, we can make soda flavored like a pine tree, egg-nog, and a fucking pig
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