Jul 18 2008
It’s Friday… photo caption time bitch-a-loonies. Click on the little blue button on the lower left side of the picture to bring up the Photocrank menu (or you can leave your caption in the comments if you are still into the old school). Have fun, or not, fuck it.
Jul 12 2008
It’s Saturday… photo caption time bitches. Click on the little blue button on the lower left side of the picture to bring up the Photocrank menu (or you can leave your caption in the comments if you are still into the old school). Have fun, but not too much fun, I got this picture from hot chicks with douchebags.
Jul 11 2008
On the heels of my copyright infringement email (best. email. ever.) I received the second best email ever, this one was hate mail. Evidently with Iran in the news lately posturing, testing missiles, and saber rattling, some dude found an old post (or two) from my site stating my position in Iran and the middle-east and took exception to it. In this beautiful piece of hate mail, the dude posits that I am a bleeding heart liberal, a democrat, and recent college grad, I really thought this was special. My most liberal trait is my belief in free speech, I am closing in on 40, I am a corporate raider, and I am a registered republican. I would actually classify myself (if I had to classify myself) as an independent but fiscal conservative with strong opinions about everything. And like most people with strong opinions, if your opinion is different than mine, then you are wrong. So Mr. Neo-Conservative Bush lover, you are wrong, and my new favorite fucktard. You should at least get to know somebody a bit more before taking the time to write a 4 paragraph insult laden hate mail, all of that info about me are in my posts.
Continuing on with my trend of free speech, I have posted this wonderful example of religious right focused sheep-like rage below including the email of the author “unityislife”. What a great email handle, especially when you are a person who obviously hates Muslims or people who have different views of your own, you probably don’t even see just how big a hypocrite you are using that handle. Click this link, it is a definition of unity, that might help in your education. I included the email address in case you wanted to chat with him about his political views or help him petition for universal health-care or host some welfare people. Check it out, you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll lose 10 iq points.
From: Shaun <XXXXX> (unityislife@yahoo.com) Sent: Thu 7/10/08 12:55 PM Reply-to: unityislife@yahoo.com To: totaldiatribe@hotmail.com (totaldiatribe@hotmail.com Hey Dipshit,
Get your head out of your ass about Iran - they are a threat. They just tested missiles for the second day in a row. Ones capable of hitting Israel and the Straight of Hormuz. (which they have already threatened to shut down - and in case you aren’t aware, the Straight of Hormuz traffics roughly 40% of the world’s oil supply) If you take your head out of the liberal left’s lap long enough to do a little research you will find that Islam, whether Shiite, Sunni or otherwise has one main goal - that is to convert the infadels or kill them. Read a book about it sometime, or better yet pick up the Koran you asswipe. (Once you’ve picked it up - actually open it an read a little.)
Ever hear of the Iran hostage crisis? Based on your lack of respect for our country and the smacked-ass recent college grad vernacular with which you berate everything NOT liberal, it is probable that you have no historical perspective on Iran’s unwarranted hatred for everything West. (see item A - it’s a key component to Islamo-facism) You should also find it interesting to note Mr. Diatribe, that one of the orchestrators of the taking of 70 innocent Americans and holding them against their will for 444 days was none other than Mr. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the current President of Iran! The very same man that calls for the destruction of Isreal at least once a week. The very same man who espouses doubts that the Holocaust or 9/11 ever happened. The very same administration that has been seeking nuclear capability for the past several years! Bush’s position on Iran is not “an agenda of agression” you bafoon! It is defensive posturing directed at a maniac terrorist who is holding a country of innocent Iranian citizens hostage and seeks to “wipe off the face of the earth” (in his words) Isreal and anything or anyone un-Islamic.
Bottom line, the Clinton administration was just as corrupt as every last one of them. He was getting his little dick sucked in the Oval Office while we were being attacked by Islamic terrorist the whole eight years he was in office. You tell me he was focused on this country’s well-being. He sure was great at dismantling the FBI and CIA though! Way to go Bill! Everything he accomplished worth a shit was at the hand of a very pursuasive Republican Congress. You appeasing liberals have been pushing the policy of coddling these dictators far too long and it’s about to smack us in the face. And when it does there is no doubt you will find a Republican and/or Conservative to blame.
Do us all a favor and pack up your Burkenstocks, your wire-rimmed glasses, your Yoko Ono records, incents, roach clips, and peace sign posters - put them in your 67 VW bus or Toyota Prius and board a ferry to the country of any one of these third world despots you love to defend. If you survive for more than a few days - let me know how it is. I’m so tired of you drivling, snot-nosed elitist liberals/democrats hating this country.
If you don’t like it here, get the fuck out!
Cordially,
Intelligent, Educated, Patriotic American
Intelligent: Nope, you can’t even figure out how to use the spell checker, you misspelled infidels, aggression, buffoon, persuasive, Birkenstock, incense, and driveling. Plus you don’t get what unity really is (unless you beleive that to make the world one is successful only if you make the world white and protestant).
Educated: see above
Patriotic: By patriot you must mean blind loyalty to the current administration. I think I am much more of a patriot by questioning authority, not by being a sheep to the Bush-Cheney evil empire.
God bless you unityislife, Jebus and the TotalDiatribe love you.
Jul 07 2008
I got an email today, this email was better than 10 hate comments and 30 videos of nuns washing cars in thongs. It was a copyright infringement email. Not only was it a copyright infringement email, but it was from Gary Larson’s “people”, you know the motherfucker who writes The Farside. The Farside was only my obsession in junior high, I basically creamed my pants when I read the email. I don’t flatter myself, I was dumb enough to name a couple of images of the farside cartoon “farside1″ and “farside2″ on a post back in November (post removed BTW) so the lawyer types probably did a google image search and scraped up my post off of the bottom of the interwebz shoe. The letter was pretty cool. I’m going to frame it.
Dear totaldiatribe
Creators Syndicate, an international newspaper syndicate, syndicates Gary Larson’s The Far Side cartoons to foreign newspapers. In addition we handle all reprint permissions requests for The Far Side following guidelines long established by Mr. Larson and his company FarWorks Inc. (copyright owner to all Far Side images). In short, we approve or disapprove requests to reproduce Mr. Larson’s cartoons, and carefully monitor the ways in which they appear.
We are writing on behalf of FarWorks, Inc. and Gary Larson about your posting of two Far Side cartoons on your website http://www.totaldiatribe.com/2007/11/. While Mr. Larson is certainly flattered to know you are a fan of his work, we have to be concerned about any unauthorized use of The Far Side name and cartoons, especially when they appear online.
FarWorks has a serious problem with unauthorized uses of The Far Side worldwide. As a result, it does not allow online publication of works from The Far Side. No matter how insignificant a few uses may seem, it still amounts to making versions of the cartoons available in digital form for anyone to download, which makes it virtually impossible for Mr. Larson to control future uses, something that is very important to him.
Please read the letter from Mr. Larson below, and respect his wishes by removing the cartoons from your website. Many thanks in advance for your cooperation.
Sincerely,
<Name Removed>
Permissions Department
Creators Syndicate
<Address/email address removed>
Enclosures: A note from Gary Larson
A note from Gary Larson
RE: Online Use of Far Side Cartoons
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
I’m walking a fine line here.
On the one hand, I confess to finding it quite flattering that some of my fans have created web sites displaying and / or distributing my work on the Internet. And, on the other, I’m struggling to find the words that convincingly but sensitively persuade these Far Side enthusiasts to “cease and desist” before they have to read these words from some lawyer.
What impact this unauthorized use has had (and is having) in tangible terms is, naturally, of great concern to my publishers and therefore to me — but it’s not the focus of this letter. My effort here is to try and speak to the intangible impact, the emotional cost to me, personally, of seeing my work collected, digitized, and offered up in cyberspace beyond my control.
Years ago I was having lunch one day with the cartoonist Richard Guindon, and the subject came up how neither one of us ever solicited or accepted ideas from others. But, until Richard summed it up quite neatly, I never really understood my own aversions to doing this: “It’s like having someone else write in your diary,” he said. And how true that statement rang with me. In effect, we drew cartoons that we hoped would be entertaining or, at the very least, not boring; but regardless, they would always come from an intensely personal, and therefore original perspective.
To attempt to be “funny” is a very scary, risk-laden proposition. (Ask any stand-up comic who has ever “bombed “on stage.) But if there was ever an axiom to follow in this business, it would be this: be honest to yourself and — most important — respect your audience.
So, in a nutshell (probably an unfortunate choice of words for me), I only ask that this respect be returned, and the way for anyone to do that is to please, please refrain from putting The Far Side out on the Internet. These cartoons are my “children,” of sorts, and like a parent, I’m concerned about where they go at night without telling me. And, seeing them at someone’s web site is like getting the call at 2:00 a.m. that goes, “Uh, Dad, you’re not going to like this much, but guess where I am.
I hope my explanation helps you to understand the importance this has for me, personally, and why I’m making this request.
Please send my “kids” home. I’ll be eternally grateful.
Most respectfully,
Gary Larson
Jul 04 2008
Another brilliant video, I just couldn’t resist posting it on the b-day of our nation. Just remember, there is nobody bigger than jesus, other than super-jesus and our Great douche-bag of a president.
Happy fourth bitches…
America Rules England Sucks - Watch more free videos
Jul 03 2008
Jun 27 2008
It’s Friday… photo caption time bitches. Click on the little blue button on the lower left side of the picture to bring up the Photocrank menu (or you can leave your caption in the comments if you are still into the old school). Have fun, but not too much fun… Peace out, and Billy Baldwin is a fucktard.
Jun 11 2008
Now that Bitch Hilary Clinton is most likely out of the picture. We as a nation can reflect on the partisan and nasty nature of how we campaign in this country, begin to repair the damage, and prepare for the class 5 hurricane that will be the general election. Who are we kidding, first we have to find a scapegoat (or goats) for why Clinton lost to boy-toy Obama. At the top of the list is her weed smokin fornicator husband Bill Clinton. I actually liked Bill Clinton in office, so what if he fucked around on Hilary, but let’s face it… is that really a surprise? I get chills just looking at her picture. The media is saddling him as a major contributor to the Hillary’s downfall but I blame her and all of the bitching and moaning.
Anyway, Dave Chappelle did a great stand-up act on Clinton years ago, I have embedded it below, check it out.
I couldn’t find the part of his stand-up act that talked about why he wouldn’t want to be the first black President. It was priceless. The payoff/punchline was that he would place an illegal immigrant as his VP (named Sanchez) as an insurance policy so that if somebody offs him, Sanchez would open up the border. Wouldn’t it be ironic if Obama chose Richardson as VP?
Jun 06 2008
It’s Friday… photo caption time bitches. Click on the little blue button on the lower left side of the picture to bring up the Photocrank menu (or you can leave your caption in the comments if you are still into the old school). Have fun, but not too much fun, Bush made that illegal as a part of the Patriot act.
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