Oct 21 2008
Or GIMP in my case. Hat tip to Newscoma who tweeted on this today. Evidently there was a photoshop contest for altering a McCain tongue out pic from one of the debates here. I missed the contest, but I’m posting what would have been my entries. Check out the full contest, there are some hilarious ones there. Feel free to Crank the pics with Photocrank…
Oct 13 2008
So I’m in Florida this week for a technical conference that is full of IT nerds. A shitload of fucking nerds, geeks, and chips, dips, and dorks. When I say a shitload, I mean a fucking shitload, like 6 or 7 thousand of em. As I’m looking at this sea of awkward dudes and the occasional woman (btw, if you were a chick looking to get laid at this conference and couldn’t… then there’s no hope for ya) with disdain, it slowly comes to me. I understand these people. I kinda look like them. I do the same thing for a living. I actually like what I do for a living, and like talking about it. I fuck around on my computer until late at night. Wait for it. Wait for it… Holy motherfucking christ on rye bread. I’m a nerd. Goddamn it. Now I have to kick the shit outa myself. Fuck. What’s worse… I totally get why the pic below is funny. FUCK!
Oct 07 2008
That’s right bitches, I didn’t realize it until yesterday, but Total Diatribe is one years old! It came to me after reading a moooooooooog post over at Mental Poo, it turns out he is a year old too. As an aside, I’m really glad that I’m just a year old, because I just crapped my pants. And that would just be creepy if I was say, I dunno, late 30’s. I could take this opportunity to highlight some of my favorite posts or brag about how great I am (I am great by the way), but the truth is, most of my posts suck. I wrote them high on crystal meth…. or was that rock candy? Either way, my tooth hurts now. To wrap up this little gem, please vote for me for President…. I’m no worse than the other two assholes up for office. Peace.
Sep 26 2008
Photo caption time. Click on the little blue button on the lower left side of the picture to bring up the Photocrank menu (or you can leave your caption in the comments if you are still into the old school method). Have fun. Peace.
Sep 21 2008
This guys loves his car, I really mean it, he LOVES his car. My guess is that he’s the CEO of AIG or Merrill Lynch and is just taking a lunch break.
Sep 18 2008
Photo caption time. Click on the little blue button on the lower left side of the picture to bring up the Photocrank menu (or you can leave your caption in the comments if you are still into the old school method). Have fun, and try not eat too much shit before you get on a roller coaster… peace.
Sep 16 2008
I ran into a Scott Adams piece on CNN.com (click here) and he had a nearly perfect quote about the 2008 elections. For those of you who don’t know Scott Adams, he is the Dilbert guy, and you may not be a big enough geek to like his shit. The good news is, I am a most certainly a big enough geek to make up for the rest of you unwashed “cool” people. Anyway, here is the quote:
Moneywise, I can’t support a candidate who promises to tax the bejeezus out of my bracket, give the windfall to a bunch of clowns with a 14 percent approval rating (Congress), and hope they spend it wisely.
Unfortunately, the alternative to the guy who promises to pillage my wallet is a lukewarm cadaver. I’m in trouble either way.
I would only add that that lukewarm cadaver is also going to increase spending on his little “wars”, but he won’t tax you, he will just increase deficit spending.
Sep 15 2008
I don’t always agree with the environmentalists or environmentalist movements, but at some basic non-political level I get it. This shit is why nobody respects fucking hippies….
Hippies Wail for Dead Trees - Watch more free videos
Aug 29 2008
It’s Friday… photo caption time. This week in honor of the 2008 election, you can cut the bullshit in the air with a knife. Click on the little blue button on the lower left side of the picture to bring up the Photocrank menu (or you can leave your caption in the comments if you are still into the old school method). Have fun.
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