Aug 31 2008
You hafta hand it to the GOP, they certainly shook it up by choosing Palin as Veep candidate. And when I say “it”, I mean their cocks. Judging by the Democrat’s reaction, they are either really scared of McCain’s choice or they are loving life. I just love the irony of the Democrats attacking Palin’s experience, they should have just said that a minority in the White House is a bad idea. Do you think that at the end of the day, McCain just wants to bang Palin?
Aug 29 2008
It’s Friday… photo caption time. This week in honor of the 2008 election, you can cut the bullshit in the air with a knife. Click on the little blue button on the lower left side of the picture to bring up the Photocrank menu (or you can leave your caption in the comments if you are still into the old school method). Have fun.
Aug 27 2008
I haven’t watched a minute of the Democratic National Convention. The primary reason is I already know the substance of all the speeches.
Blah Blah Blah, look at me, look at me, vote for me, I can change shit. Give me power.
Followed by.
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, I’m going to bring out a dying man now to exploit him even though he is full of shit too. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
Bottom line, the government in this country is broken, and the politicians, lobbyists, MIC, and media have won. We don’t have a democracy, we have an oligarchy. I’m a true cynic now. The only small ray of hope in this go-around was that Ron Paul got some attention for saying the right things and drumming up some minimal support. But he didn’t really have an honest shot at making a difference, the deck is stacked against him or any other real reformist candidate.
Is there an answer to this mess?
Aug 24 2008
Moooooooooooooooog over at Mental Poo ran into big huge labs and has been going buck-wild creating motivational posters, hilarity ensues. I now have a new 10th favorite hobby that I call diamotivationals, thanks poo-boy. Here are my first ones….
Aug 22 2008
The political news desk here at Total Diatribe has exclusive and breaking news regarding Obama’s VP candidate. He is a relative newcomer to the political scene, but has the potential to make a huge splash, his name is “Shutthafuckup And Pickalready”. Although Shutthafuckup has little experience he does have a family history in politics as he is the first cousin of “Ilieuntil You Catchme”, and a lifelong best friend to “I’mfullofshit And Aliar” who has been seen everywhere around Washington these days.
Aug 21 2008
… you eat the bar, and sometimes, well, he eats you.
That pretty much sums up the week for me.
Aug 17 2008
I just finished up the 5th and last season of The Wire, and just like sadcox said, it didn’t disappoint. I’m now lamenting the fact that there is no more really great TV for me to look forward to. I’m not saying that there won’t be another show as good as The Wire made, but it will be pretty rare and on cable, network TV can’t deliver the goods. I love how each season tackled a major issue in our cities in a smart and gritty/realistic way.
A quote that really stuck out for me on season 5 was:
newspaper guy: “weird shit talking to a psychopath”
retort from second newspaper guy: “I interviewed Dick Cheney once.”
Fucking sweet.
The biggest problem with a show of this caliber is if you don’t know about it from the start, you probably won’t watch it. I’ve had HBO for years and have flipped through The Wire on occasion, but it was hard to pick up the story in the middle and very hard to realize how good it is when you jump in for a few minutes here and there. I didn’t start watching it until I was tipped off by more than one person about how good it was, and I’ve watched every episode off of DVD. I guess you could say that I’m one of the reasons there is no season 6.
I love a lot of characters in the show (there is a shitload of colorful motherfuckers on it), but I think my favorite is Omar. A cold-blooded bastard with a concious and a code.
Later.
Aug 15 2008
I had to read this quote regarding the Russia/Georgia conflict three times and pinch my left nut to believe I wasn’t dreaming. Who the fuck is he kidding?
Bullying and intimidation are not acceptable ways to conduct foreign policy in the 21st century
Aug 13 2008
I was just on a long vacation, a very loooong vacation. But it was a good vacation. The problem was the plane ride. The plane trip was from Atlanta to Philadelphia on August 1st, and if by chance you are one of the poor poor souls that happened to be on the plane with my clan, then please accept my sincere apologies.
The clan included myself, my wife, my 3 year old daughter, and my almost 2 year old son. The plane had a 3 on a side configuration, my son and I were in the middle and isle seat on one side of the plane while the wife and the girl were sitting in the middle and isle seats on the opposite side of the plane. Please see diagram below for a graphical representation of the hell that was a plane ride.
The day started out on a dubious note, up at 3:30 AM, an hour drive to the airport and a bitchy kid at the gate. The boy was cranky, no, cranky isn’t quite the word. He was fucking horrible. After we got him into his seat and some fussing and complaining into the air, the fun started. It began with a low moan that turned into a primal scream that came from deep in his gullet. The explosion was like Jack Jack from the Incredibles, and a visible arc of vitriol sound could be seen from it. After the initial explosion, he took a full box of animal crackers and with animal ferocity and strength he ripped the box into shreds showering the poor schmuck sitting next to him, myself, and the rows in front and in back of us with cookie dust and tiny pieces of shredded box. Then he got bad. He basically rolled on the floor for 45 minutes kicking and screaming in the most ginormous tantrum in history. In fact he now has a record in Guinness, look it up, he’s fucking in there.
He was fine once we got there. Little fucker. And then somehow he could still make you smile after all of that.
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