Jan 29 2008
Vegas hangover
So I’m back from Vegas, I didn’t get arrested, ripped-off, taken advantage of, molested, or even corn-holed. Vegas just isn’t what it used to be. But, I did have a stellar time, and made a decent amount of money on the tables. I will give you some of the details below broken out by day, but not all the details because…. well because I said so.
Day 1: I arrived late, it was after midnight, I went to sleep.
Day2: I played poker for 14 straight hours, on the same table, in the same chair.
Day3: I played poker for 6 hours, took a break, watched a movie, played poker for another 7 hours.
Day4: See day 3, minus the second poker session, then I got on a plane.
Well that was just about it. What was that? Oh, you want more? Ok, here are some brilliant observations.
1) During my 14 hour marathon poker session, all of the TV’s in the MGM Grand Poker room turned to the local news with footage of the casino across the street on fire (i.e., the Monte Carlo). Nobody moved, the games weren’t affected, but here is my conversation with the dealer.
Me: Is that going on right now (me pointing at the TV)
Dealer: Yep, but it’s the back-side of the casino, so you can’t even see it burning from the strip
Me: oh… ok, no need to get up then… I’ll raise
So this is proof that I didn’t start the fire, and when you are gambling and drinking, nothing will phase you, ever.
2) Vegas is just an excuse for the ladies to dress up like sluts. WHICH…. IS… FUCKING… COOL! I never saw so much cleavage in my life. Ladies, please, from the bottom of my heart. You can dress like that in other places too, seriously, like Georgia, or any place that I happen to be. I promise I won’t call you sluts.
3) I like… no, I LOVE, taking money from punk-ass kids that show up to a poker room wearing a track-suit, pulled down hat, wrap around sunglasses, and listening to their iPhones at the table. Dudes, there are no fucking cameras (other than security cameras), you are not on TV, why the fuck are you wearing that shit? I think I was noticeably aroused when I busted out this one douche-hole that looked exactly like the guy described above. If you are so bad in poker that you need sunglasses in order to not give out a “tell”, don’t fucking play. The only guys that can get away with that getup are professional poker players, but they’re probably all assholes anyway.
4) I saw a 21 year old kid drunkenly stumble and fall in the casino bathroom and bounce his melon-like head off of the marble sink counter and then the marble floor. He was bleeding, slurring, and crying. I realized at that moment that I am really getting old. I realized this because I immediately thought about how many years have passed between now and the time when I used to do shit like that, except the crying part, I’m no pussy.
5) I’m really glad Vegas is a 4 1/2 hour flight away, that place is too fucking fun to be easily accessible.
More on this trip later… or maybe not.
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Nice trip report. Glad to hear you had a good time, some profit, and got to rip up some assholes. Good to have you back in blogspace. SadCox said I was hiding my softball report from you, reporting when you were out of pocket.
Thanks… and SadCox was right, i would have totally slammed you for playing softball…
bo-ring!
i’ve been to mgm, but my stories, if they ever get to see the light of the day, will put yours to shame. of course, i’m a girl … it’s so much fun then a, well, there’s no nice way to put it, mechanic who needs some waxing.
YES, Ladies in GEORGIA… I agree. We want for you to dress like sluts. I don’t know where BillyMac is but up in Woodstock, we love cleavage and slutty looking girls.
Cool…now I’m being talked about on THREE blogs. No such thing as bad publicity, right?
So what’s the game now at MGM? I think they had a 1/2 NL game with $100 max buy a few years ago. I was drinking the last time I was there, and I only play limit when I’m drinking. Was there an Omaha H/L game going?
I’m going in a couple of weeks and get there on a Sunday morning. I was thinking of playing at MGM for a few hours–need more scoop.
marm: soooo, did you just say that you were giving out hand-jobs to mechanics?
Stealth: Can I get an AMEN! BTW, I live in a northern Atlanta suburb that is most commonly shouted at the end of a porn scene right after “I’M”….
sadcox: tables were good, there were some limit games, but why bother? As far as NL goes, 1-2 had a $200 max, and there was a 2-5 NL with a $500 max, and they were drumming up interest in a 5-5 NL w/ a $1,000 max buy-in. I stuck to the 1-2 and 2-5 NL games and had success at both… although the 2-5 game was a bit hairy, there was a lot of money on that table.
Maybe that guy walked in wearing sunglasses to cover the black eye he got from bouncing off the marble sink.
How was the Bunny Ranch? Will we be seeing you in HBO’s “CatHouse” anytime soon? Will you be sporting the ball-gag?
moooooooooooooog32: I didn’t sign the release at the bunny ranch… that’s means i won’t appear on TV right? Right!!!???
Sounds like you had fun. Vegas is awesome. You can get a hooker to come right to your room and for a pretty fair price. Or so I’ve heard.
[…] Billymac just got back from Vegas, and it sounds like he did pretty well at the poker tables. I’ve known and loved Billymac for years, and this is one reason why… I like… no, I LOVE, taking money from punk-ass kids that show up to a poker room wearing a track-suit, pulled down hat, wrap around sunglasses, and listening to their iPhones at the table. […]
I wanna go to Vegas,I wanna dress like a slut!
Glad you had a good time!
god I miss being able to just drive up to vegas on a whim….
sounds like a very good trip!
If I were you, I wouldn’t use a flame thrower.
Wookies are highly flammable.
Mimz: that’s the rumor… that everybody seems to know about
PP: no need to go, please dress up like a slut and send us all pictures, that would be about the same right?
Kerstin: thank the good lord i can’t drive there, that would spell disaster
Mike: I am going to say this loud enough for my lawyer and the Clark County Sheriff’s office to hear. “I DID NOT START THAT FIRE, YOU CAN’T PROVE ANYTHING”
BillyMac - We MUST go have a beer together! I know where you are
billymac: is this truly your idea of fun?