Jan 07 2008
Beer Goggles
Here’s the scene; you are in a pub smashed out of your melon, you retire to the bathroom to take a piss, you stumble up to the mirror, and realize that you are one good looking sumbitch (even though your eyes are mostly pasted shut, your hair is fucked up, you have food on your face and shirt, you are drooling a little, and there is piss dribble on the front of your pants). In this situation, you have your beer goggles on. Now extrapolate that out to the bar where you are now willing to hook up with anything that moves including a hole in the leather bar stool.Â
It turns out that the good folks at Manchester University in the UK came up with a formula in 2005 that describes the beer goggle effect as a result of several factors (click here for full article):
Researchers at Manchester University say while beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder, the amount of alcohol consumed is not the only factor.
Additional factors include the level of light in the pub or club, the drinker’s own eyesight and the room’s smokiness.
The distance between two people is also a factor.
As a wise, ok not so much wise but typically drunk and funny, guy I knew in college used to say:
Beauty is but a light-switch away…
I leave you with an example from our good friends at Broken Lizard, it is a scene from their latest movie Beerfest, enjoy:
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I know people who have beer goggles even when they aren’t drunk. I think people call that “denial,” right?
Don’t forget about paper bags, if a light switch isn’t available. Beerfest is a lousy movie with a couple of good scenes.
Mimz: I think that is actually called “low standards”, not that there is any problem with that.
HM: Agreed, most of Broken Lizard’s movies suck but are sprinkled with good scenes. Supertroopers had a bunch of good scenes, it’s been downhill since then (especially Club Dread, worst movie… ever).
Now, “Supertroopers”, that was a great movie.
one time i woke up next to this chick, and she looked like sarah jessica parker. the night before she also looked like sarah jessica parker, but at the time, i was so drunk that i thought sarah jessica parker was hot. yeah, i know, it’s not healthy to drink that much. because her face looks like a shoe, and for it to be attractive, a person must drink to oblivion, until all common sense fades
OMG
Who was filming me in the bar last night, and how did you get it?
i know beerfest got killedby critics but i think it’s funny as shit, I’ve never slummed when drunk . I’ve got good taste even when shit faced.