There is a lot of attention this time of year with discussions of the true meaning of Christmas.  You know the sentimental type of stories about Bethlehem, the three wise men, the north star, no room in the inn, some gold and other shit, and finally a virgin pounding out a kid in a barn.  That’s all bullshit.  Also, the true meaning of Christmas is not loot, although to a kid, you bet your ass it is.

 Did you know?

• The bible doesn’t mention a date for the birth of Christ, however common thoughts are that it was in the spring.  Pope Julius I is credited with declaring December 25th the birthdate of Christ in the year 350 AD.
• There were a number of pagan festivals or holidays celebrated around the winter solstice.  This is the reason Pope Julius chose December 25th.
  • Norse Yule celebration where they set shit on fire
  • Mid-winter holiday in Germany where they worshiped a god (Oden) that would fly around at night in the winter and decide who would do well or do poorly (sounds like our pal Santa eh?)
  • Saturnalia in Rome (think of a month long Christmas orgy)
• Santa
  • St. Nicholas, popular with the kids and shit, died around December 6th and people used to think it was a lucky day for decisions or big purchases
  • Dutch for St. Nicholas was Sint Nikolaas
  • Nickname was Sinter Klaas
  • Became Santa Claus in the early 1800’s
  • The gift-giving came right after that, then came those assholes in the mall
• Christmas Trees
  • Evergreens meant a lot to those in cold climates, it symbolized life in winter and often boughs of evergreen were displayed in the homes around the winter soltice
  • Druids decorated their temples in winter with evergreen boughs as they symbolized everlasting life
  • In Egypt worshipers of Ra would decorate their homes with green palms during the winter solstice to mark the return of light
  • Germans are credited with bringing the whole fucking tree into the house in the 16th century (you couldn’t be satisfied with the branches could you?)

In the middle ages, most winter festivals were like today’s mardi gras.  So this Christmas, go get drunk and laid and show your tits to a priest or small child.  Live it up!

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